Cheers to friendship

I've been lucky this year to reunite and spend time with several friends from various phases of life - school, college and more. When I've had similar re-connects in past years I had wondered at how easy it was to 'fall back' into the same depth of friendship I experienced with certain people even though we had not met or spoken for years. 

So what is it that makes some friends closer than others? 

The answer to this like most of life's important questions is - 'it depends'. It depends on what type of person you are - are you someone that thrives on emotional connection, intellectual stimulation, shared adventure etc.

For me, it's the relationships where I feel I can be myself without sensing judgement. It's the relationships where I am understood, not pitied on. It's about feeling safe enough with someone to be vulnerable, and opening up to them knowing they will enable and challenge you to be stronger and better. It's about being able to count on them for being part of your best and worst times in life - without needing you to tell them which is when. It's about benefiting from one's intellect and perspective when you cannot solve a problem yourself. And so much more that I can't articulate in words. But a very important foundation for a strong friendship, in my opinion, is this - they form between people who are able to fulfill these needs for each other and exchange places in who's giving or receiving. Essentially a mutual dependency is critical.  

My strongest memories of friendships in past and recent years range from one showing up to welcome my new born baby, one advising me not to ditch a challenging job because they believed I was smart enough to work through and thrive, one for being on the other end of a phone whenever they were needed no matter the time of the day and the year of our lives, one being caring enough to think of me and check on me even in their not-so-easy days and so many more. But these are also friends that I have some of my most fun memories with. Celebrating turning forty, being parents, endless talks into middle of the night over the years. 

I look up to these friends with respect, love, and with a commitment that I will be there for them should they ever need me. And I know they know it too. 

Here's wishing you true friendships in the new year and in life !