Art is not a luxury, sometimes it's sustenance

 

Unknowingly and without any plans I started writing poems a few years ago. I like to think that the habit evolved from my old habit of writing. 

Lately I've been writing more - mostly about how I feel, what I'm thinking etc. One day a few weeks ago I came across this talk by actor Ethan Hawke. He says something at the 2:00 minutes mark of the talk - about how you connect with art when someone somewhere has written, sung or acted the same things you may be going through or you may be trying to make sense of. Bingo! It resonated with me so much ! It's when you come across these art forms and connect with it that you don't feel alone in that feeling anymore. It's could be a shared joy, shared excitement, shared bewilderment, or shared melancholy. But you find that one thing that helps you make sense and then it becomes your sustenance and you appreciate art so much more! 

I ended up watching the entire talk today and loved it. 

Here's to the spirit of finding yourself, and feeling those feelings and expressing them - cheers ! 

P.S. When I see this talk, he feels like an extension of his character in the Before movie series - loved him in those ! Such a natural. 

Recap of the year so far

When I look back on the first post from this year it's clear that I started 2024 with tremendous optimism. I had a feeeling it would be an year I would look back on and cherish. Something in the air just felt ...exciting.  

Now almost mid-way through, I can say I am still looking at it with optimism. But this optimism is more to propel myself and come out of what has been probabaly a very challenging time.

Unexpecetedly early in the year, I went down a path hoping for a peaceful end to a rocky journey that stretched for a decade and a half. At the beginning, the path did feel green and peaceful and promised me the destination I set out to find. But towards the end I had to face unexpected things, thanks to fate. I set out to fight the problem and emerge out of it happy, and possibly make others happy in the process...but that did not happen. Not everything is a one woaman show - sometimes you need a partner, or a team. And if they are not on the same page as you the destination would never be reached, even worser you'd realize you are on the wrong route. 

When I look back at the past few months I know I gave it my best shot. There were things I never though I would have to go through, but I went through them and I tried to make the best of it. I had the guts to fight for what was fair, but it did not work out. But I am at peace knowing that I gave it my best. 

I had the confidence that I would make things agreeable for those involved and not cause long term damage to anyone. But not everyone had that trust in me. So I decided to give up what was supposed to be journey of a lifetime. And in the process I brought back peace, hopefully to everyone. For what good is a win if it comes at the loss of everyone around you? Sometimes you gotta take one for the team :). One thing I realized was this >> I don't deserve to stick to a team that asks me to take punches simply beacuse it thinks I am strong enough and because I had done it once before. So, I have seperated myself from it now. It wasn't easy and still has me going through the motions and after effects, but it was needed to be done. 

I've worked hard throughout my life, unintentionally...not deliberatly, on keeping healthy realtionships around me that are now a strong support system for me. So thanks to them and my own self, I will survive, again....

Random thoughts on a Friday in May

Recently, a friend shared the write-up below. Funny enough when I read this, some of these characteristics remind me of myself - so yes, I  should hang on to myself and I hope to keep the things I'm proud of, in myself.

If we don't listen to our voice, who else will.