To AI or not....rather, when to AI....

 As a child I would sometimes test my reading and analytical skills by means of those quizzes that have 2-3 paragraphs or pages. They would describe happenings and events and at the end I'd have to answer 4-5 questions that would test my ability to synthesize the complex information presented and make right conclusions based on the content. I did this as a 10 year old and well into my 20s preparing for my GRE and GMAT. Reading, processing and then concluding were all part of a mental exercise - akin to solving a math problem. The best kind of challenges were where a complex reading problem was actually a math problem - I loved those !

I was thinking about this yesterday in a conversation with friends at home. We were discussing proudly how effectively we use AI to do our work for us. How it synthesizes complex back and forth on emails and how it helps us get the summaries from meetings we couldn't make etc. It truly helps us keep up and become faster in an ever demanding workplace. Then my friend says " we are all going to become stupid in a few years if we keep relying on AI to do all of this for us". He was partly right. While my generation may not be any more stupid than it already is...the younger generations might have the risk of this impact. Large scale delegation of basic functions at an early age will impact development of necessary skills needed as an adult. It's like in that movie WALL-E , the surviving humans rarely walked in the spacecraft and when suddenly thrown onto the ground they simply couldn't balance themselves. Maybe not so dramatic an effect, but it's an example nevertheless. The other risk is the ability to decipher what's true and what is just a conclusion based on information without fact verification. LLMs use sources, and let's be honest, who is fact checking sources in this Wikipedia and Google era? Soon we will have to question things we see and hear on a daily basis. I'd rather not draw a depressing view of future - I am always the optimist and I believe good truly outshines the evil...but largely this outcomes depends on the actors and enablers of a technology. The invaluable, time immaterial skills we ought to teach our future generations , and continue to teach ourselves, should be those around integrity, truth, kindness and sense of community. 

For now though, for the sake of our kids and their kids, I hope the use of AI is not extensive in schools and early education settings. Those initial years of learning, the kids have to develop skills the old fashioned way.  The proliferation of devices and short videos is already eating into the brain space of an average kid in a average home, adding AI to the mix will only complicate their development...and not in a good way. As an adult we all own the responsibility of making good choices with AI and setting the right example to our future generations - may you execute and enable the same! 

Cheers to friendship

I've been lucky this year to reunite and spend time with several friends from various phases of life - school, college and more. When I've had similar re-connects in past years I had wondered at how easy it was to 'fall back' into the same depth of friendship I experienced with certain people even though we had not met or spoken for years. 

So what is it that makes some friends closer than others? 

The answer to this like most of life's important questions is - 'it depends'. It depends on what type of person you are - are you someone that thrives on emotional connection, intellectual stimulation, shared adventure etc.

For me, it's the relationships where I feel I can be myself without sensing judgement. It's the relationships where I am understood, not pitied on. It's about feeling safe enough with someone to be vulnerable, and opening up to them knowing they will enable and challenge you to be stronger and better. It's about being able to count on them for being part of your best and worst times in life - without needing you to tell them which is when. It's about benefiting from one's intellect and perspective when you cannot solve a problem yourself. And so much more that I can't articulate in words. But a very important foundation for a strong friendship, in my opinion, is this - they form between people who are able to fulfill these needs for each other and exchange places in who's giving or receiving. Essentially a mutual dependency is critical.  

My strongest memories of friendships in past and recent years range from one showing up to welcome my new born baby, one advising me not to ditch a challenging job because they believed I was smart enough to work through and thrive, one for being on the other end of a phone whenever they were needed no matter the time of the day and the year of our lives, one being caring enough to think of me and check on me even in their not-so-easy days and so many more. But these are also friends that I have some of my most fun memories with. Celebrating turning forty, being parents, endless talks into middle of the night over the years. 

I look up to these friends with respect, love, and with a commitment that I will be there for them should they ever need me. And I know they know it too. 

Here's wishing you true friendships in the new year and in life ! 

A revisited perspective

 

I learnt about the philosophy of kintsugi earlier this year. The message of this phislopshy is that no matter the damage or imperfections in something, you don't throw it away.  You repair it, seal its blemishes with care and love and cherish it in whole. 

At first it resonated with me, and then for a while it did not. :)

But last weekend, I watched Inside Out 2...and I noticed a variation of kintsugi in the message of the movie. The movie deals with the anxiety and growing pains of transitioning from a kid to a teenager/young adult. It shows how the psyche tries to hide painful experiences, protecting us and hoping that it will keep us stronger and feeling good about ourselves. At the end, due reconciliation comes and we realize how accepting both bad and good experiences will bring out the best in a person. 

In life, we talk about inclusion at work, in society and all places in between, but we rarely talk about inclusion of the self i.e. accepting both your good and bad sides. Being kind to yourself about the short comings you have is the first step towards accepting others' shortcomings. First, be at peace with yourself and then your peace will shine on others and show them kindness.

As I apply kintsugi to myself and outwards to my relationships in life, I appreciate how the Japanese philosophies are simple, yet powerful. Just like the movie Inside Out ( both 1 and 2) itself. In case you haven't watched it, check it out!  

Art is not a luxury, sometimes it's sustenance

 

Unknowingly and without any plans I started writing poems a few years ago. I like to think that the habit evolved from my old habit of writing. 

Lately I've been writing more - mostly about how I feel, what I'm thinking etc. One day a few weeks ago I came across this talk by actor Ethan Hawke. He says something at the 2:00 minutes mark of the talk - about how you connect with art when someone somewhere has written, sung or acted the same things you may be going through or you may be trying to make sense of. Bingo! It resonated with me so much ! It's when you come across these art forms and connect with it that you don't feel alone in that feeling anymore. It's could be a shared joy, shared excitement, shared bewilderment, or shared melancholy. But you find that one thing that helps you make sense and then it becomes your sustenance and you appreciate art so much more! 

I ended up watching the entire talk today and loved it. 

Here's to the spirit of finding yourself, and feeling those feelings and expressing them - cheers ! 

P.S. When I see this talk, he feels like an extension of his character in the Before movie series - loved him in those ! Such a natural. 

Recap of the year so far

When I look back on the first post from this year it's clear that I started 2024 with tremendous optimism. I had a feeeling it would be an year I would look back on and cherish. Something in the air just felt ...exciting.  

Now almost mid-way through, I can say I am still looking at it with optimism. But this optimism is more to propel myself and come out of what has been probabaly a very challenging time.

Unexpecetedly early in the year, I went down a path hoping for a peaceful end to a rocky journey that stretched for a decade and a half. At the beginning, the path did feel green and peaceful and promised me the destination I set out to find. But towards the end I had to face unexpected things, thanks to fate. I set out to fight the problem and emerge out of it happy, and possibly make others happy in the process...but that did not happen. Not everything is a one woaman show - sometimes you need a partner, or a team. And if they are not on the same page as you the destination would never be reached, even worser you'd realize you are on the wrong route. 

When I look back at the past few months I know I gave it my best shot. There were things I never though I would have to go through, but I went through them and I tried to make the best of it. I had the guts to fight for what was fair, but it did not work out. But I am at peace knowing that I gave it my best. 

I had the confidence that I would make things agreeable for those involved and not cause long term damage to anyone. But not everyone had that trust in me. So I decided to give up what was supposed to be journey of a lifetime. And in the process I brought back peace, hopefully to everyone. For what good is a win if it comes at the loss of everyone around you? Sometimes you gotta take one for the team :). One thing I realized was this >> I don't deserve to stick to a team that asks me to take punches simply beacuse it thinks I am strong enough and because I had done it once before. So, I have seperated myself from it now. It wasn't easy and still has me going through the motions and after effects, but it was needed to be done. 

I've worked hard throughout my life, unintentionally...not deliberatly, on keeping healthy realtionships around me that are now a strong support system for me. So thanks to them and my own self, I will survive, again....

Random thoughts on a Friday in May

Recently, a friend shared the write-up below. Funny enough when I read this, some of these characteristics remind me of myself - so yes, I  should hang on to myself and I hope to keep the things I'm proud of, in myself.

If we don't listen to our voice, who else will.   

Saturday morning musings

In the beautifully made movie 'Mitr, my friend' the lead actress Shobhana tells her virtual friend that one of the things she likes to do is to drive up the freeway in full speed alone in the car. That idea fascinated me as a young 20yr old girl in India, without a car, surrounded by slow moving traffic and always dependent on someone or something for transportation.

Now, years after I started driving in the West and Southwest US..with wide, open roads and beautiful landscapes around, I relate to what she said. That feeling I get when I drive myself on the road, while playing the music of my choice, something loud...but fun and melodious, and when let my mind think through stuff in my head...with wind from the open windows messing my hair up ....I just love that feeling! Writing this post after one such drive on an early Saturday morning...

2023 in retrospect

Calling this post retrospective maybe a bit pre-mature. After all, 2023 ended just a few hours ago. Maybe this is more of a summary of highlights. 

I'll remember this year as the one where I got out of the comfort zone - both personally and professionally. It's the year I stopped taking things for granted and pushed myself to make an effort. Made an attempt to stress less - and mostly succeeded. This has been a year of some humbling moments as well as one of adventures. I balanced my strength with some vulnerability and in most cases it's given me peace. I've been more conscious of what I am doing to my health - physcial and mental. And have taken steps to make changes where I could. It's also the year I continued my path to establishing, and re-establishing, connections with dear ones - both at home and away. 

Maybe this had more to do with being a newly turned 40-yr old? Or the fact that I'm finally getting back control of my time. Whatever it is, it's welcome! There's more work to be done though - and that's what the new year is for afterall. Here's hoping to better myself a little bit more this year. 

Ending this with a succinct, yet comprehensive new year message I came across - hope all of these and more come true for you this new year ! 

Turning....

 ....could mean a lot of things. Tuning back, changing course or direction, changing your affiliations and loyalties or it could also simply mean turning a decade older, which is something I'm celebrating this year! As I turn 40, I've taken this milestone year to do a variety of things to reconnect with myself and those that I value most. On top of the milestone birthday, the culmination of the pandemic has also given me a reason to stop, think and introspect. 

A big piece of me trying to reconnect with loved ones this year was to spend quality time with closest of my friends - I'd hate to label them "best" , aren't all good friends best ones? 

J, N and I have know each other for more than half of our living lives. We met in our late teens in undergrad and grew up through our early twenties with completely different things happening around us. One of us got married young(er), one found a soul mate in her first shot at love, and one was having a hard time finding contentment in love. Who was going through what - well, that will be unsaid here :). Despite these differences in our younger years, we spent most of our 30s going through very similar things - learning how to co-exist in a country we are not from, birthing and raising kids, building and re-building careers, rediscovering what friendships look like. I've been lucky enough to have these two in my life at arm's length or a phone call away any given day. So celebrating my milestone birthday with these two was a big must-do for me.  

Our last time getting together as a group of friends was pre-pandemic, so naturally there was excitement around seeing one another in person again. We added to the excitement by landing on a solid itinerary - a road trip from Las Vegas to Grand Canyon, followed by a couple nights of fun in Las Vegas. Further excitement was added by means of a playlist - we managed to put together 8 hours of music of all types of songs going back to our favs from college to the latest pop hits. There was depth and quality too, mind you ! Being able to live out this play list of course was an integral part of the the experience - so when we rented a car and it did not play from the phone blue-tooth we made sure we returned it and got a different one that did have better audio support. Priorities, priorities....

The road trip involved a couple hundred miles of driving, which I am very proud to say I did wholeheartedly. In the background was beautiful scenery, wonderful music,  deep conversations, gossip, retrospection and discussion on what life brought to us and what made us happy or otherwise. Exploring scenic views and places along the way was part of the fun of course - including lunch at a authentic ( and clean!) Punjabi Dhaba  (of all places, in Kingman,AZ!!) 

Grand Canyon did not disappoint - how could it! Enjoying sunrise and sunset in the company of cherished friends is something I'll always remember. We all took time to enjoy the grandeur of the canyon in our own moments of quiet along with several group moments. I had not watched sunrise in a long time - yes, there were goosebumps. Moving on from there, the fun we had in Las Vegas was a different kind of fun altogether! The best thing about Vegas was that we were able to bring in the young girl inside of all of us - we played dress-up, did make-up and walked in our heels  ( shhhh, no talks needed on how painful it was!). We were younger again, but with a kind of confidence a twenty year old could not have had. That's the beauty about growing into your 30s with secure and healthy relationships around you - you just have a sense of confidence and self-assurance that would surprise your younger self!  Like wine, women get finer with age...don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You are open to trying and doing things without any judgement of yourself and you know exactly what you want out of those experiences. 

Except for lack of sleep there was nothing I'd change in this trip - what this trip gave me is a series of conversations with non-judgemental friends that helped me better understand myself. It helped me open up a little bit more, gave me encouragement and courage to take a few bold steps in my life, helped me reconnect with several old friends that I reminisced those few days with J and N. I came back home feeling recharged and refreshed, happy and humbled, thankful and a bit tired. Most importantly I came back with a little bit of my old self re-instated back in me, the best parts of that old-self anyway.....  

Of course none of this would be possible had it not been for our wonderful husbands. A big kudos goes to them - without them handling kids and home for 3 days and half, we could not get this once in a lifetime experience packed without any mom-guilt!

Next on the list  is a couple of similar trips - I did one with family already but I crave for more of it, and last but most important - a trip with myself. No distraction - just me with my thoughts. Let's see how soon I can make that happen.

When I grow up....

There was a time in college when someone asked me what my idea of a perfect life was. My answer was something along the lines of  I'm snuggled with a coffee , reading a book. Think I was ridiculed. But till date that seems like the answer, still ! 

< Written first on 11/14/19, saved from draft mode to publish mode on 10/19/22 :) >

Of ennui and introspection

<< Originally written over 6 years ago, was in draft mode near perpetuity :) - finally published on 10/19/22 >>

Living in the US hasn't done much good to my English except add some slang to it. I blame it on the lost habit of reading. Every now and then I pick up some new words from conversation and movies but nothing builds language skills like reading a classic novel or a good newspaper. A few months ago I came across a friend's blog post and it was where I came across 'ennui'. I looked up the meaning and coincidentally that was the state of my mind. Ennui refers to a feeling of boredom, uninterested-ness in everything; it's not depression but a general blah at all things. Sounds familiar? 

There's something about hitting your 30s that makes you introspect more. Or may be it's with each passing decade you contemplate more and more, reflect on your past more...."what am I doing with my life?", "I have totally lost myself!", "does this job even make any sense?". A lot of such introspection in 30s is what I think eventually leads to a so-called mid-life crisis. Given the fast-paced generation that we are, it's not uncommon to hear the term quarter-life crisis these days.

The reason I think about ennui now is I recently watched an Albert Brooks movie that dealt the subject with wit and humor. I found 'Lost in America' during one of my aimless Netflix search sessions. The central characters in the film are a wife and husband living a dull life in the suburbs, working at jobs that are just jobs. They are always waiting for that next promotion, that next bigger house, the next fancier car etc. You know, your typical middle class couple. Then unexpectedly their life changes when the man doesn't get the promotion he so expected to. They decide to drop out of the rat race and 'find themselves'. So they start this road-trip without a destination in mind...sort of like their life so far without an aim. It's during the road-trip that they discover the forgotten truth about the beauty of everyday life. You see when you get used to living life a certain way, working a certain way, you fail to recognize the things to be thankful for and the things you accomplish/ed each day. During their road-trip the couple loses all money and has to deal with working end of the line jobs in fast food centers and such and that is when they realize that they are smarter than the regular joes that are now their neighbors and their bosses. The jobs they left, although not fulfilling were at the minimal challenging and presented prospects. They gave them hope, even if it was in the form of a materialistic possession such as a new Mercedes. And isn't that what all humans want? To be challenged?



  

Opportunities for introspection

I loved travel as a young adult. And by travel I don't mean going to new places that I've never been to, exploring cultures and all that good stuff. That is the essence of travel most people enjoy. What I enjoyed however was the journey to a destination. I have lived away from home since the age of 16, so I've done my fair share of travel. To me it represented idle time for contemplation. For catching up with friends, my own thoughts, jotting down ideas. I loved sitting by the window seat on the little red bus that took me from Chennai to Chittoor every Saturday morning. The morning breeze relieved my stress from hectic days working in IT and the freshness of the early mornings prompted positive thoughts inside my head. This would be the time I would think about my happiness, my well-being, my hobbies and what I'd do with my life. All these thoughts came to me in a not way that was not prompted or made-up. This is when I'd read a books that made me feel fulfilled. And the trip back to Chennai would be on Sundays and this is when I would catch up with friends. I'd call them and spend hours catching up.
As I write this blog I realize how I've always enjoyed traveling long hours on the road (preferably; we all know how annoying proximity with other people can be on airplanes). At the moment I'm sitting here in an airport looking out at the beautiful mountains in Phoenix and it only brings positive thoughts to my mind. This is the first trip away from kiddo...and she has done a fantastic job. All thanks to the hubby and how well he keeps her engaged. So proud of him and so lucky to be married to a guy like him. 
Here's hoping to more long drives on road...may be one in Winter.

Book Review :: 1984

A big difference between books and movies is that books often times get recognition much later in time. Movies, however, rarely get delayed recognition. The feedback on them is instantaneous. They are a success or flop or cult favorite - all within a week or month of  the release. Despite this difference, both have something in common - revival. Sort of a second life when contemporary life makes the older book or film relevant and hence worth indulging in, again. '1984' is one such example. 

If you followed the news late January / early February you know that 1984 is seeing somewhat of a revival. It was the #1 most selling book on amazon for one week towards the end of January. Having never read the book I decided to pick it up. I thought, reading someone's coherent thoughts on a dark political situation was going to be more enlightening thank reading people's frustrations on social media. So I looked it up on the library website and there were copies available - I put one on hold and picked it up the next day. 

Orwell most likely took inspiration from the question of what would happen if the outcome of WWII was different. He chose to picture the world as 3 segregated political states each under dictatorship. In '1984' Democracy is non-existent. Freedom is only perceived and is fleeting. History is manipulated to suit current needs. There is no 'family'. Sex is only for procreation. There is only one loyalty, loyalty to the party. 

In this dark and grim world, he builds a couple of complex characters - in Winston and O'Brian. He uses these to play with omnipresent, timeless ideas such as the 3 class system ( the low, the middle and the high), corruption, freedom. There is corruption of the soul, torture of the physique and decay of the human spirit. The book successfully shows that even the strongest of human spirits can be broken, albeit slowly and persistently.  

I appreciated the variations of loyalty shown across generations. Winston, having lived through a free world during his childhood has seen how free one really can be. He clings to whatever memories he has of those times and they keep him alive and hopeful. They even continue to fuel his silent revolution. On the other hand Julia, who was born much later and in the newly formed state of Oceania, understands the idea of freedom, but never expects it to within her reach. She has no hope of it. So she chooses to play with the system. For her there is no ideology, there is only individual interest translated to corruption. She openly defends the party all the while cheating on its ideologies. And then there is the lost cause of the youngest born into a well established party philosophy. This generation, depicted in the kids of Winston’s neighbors, is completely brainwashed …rather their minds have been fabricated, to make believe that everyone is capable of becoming a traitor and we need to watch out for the party.

To me, the most important theme of the book is individuality. I found this a bit similar to Ayn Rand’s view of individualism. The difference though is Rand’s books have heroes who overcome adversities and thrive; they succeed. But Orwell’s book is too pessimistic, (...or it closer to reality?). There are no heroes in 1984. Here’s to hoping that there are some in real world. 

Vacation reflections

Exactly a week ago, the winter break ended. As a working adult I feel privileged to have this 'break' in winter. My employer shutsdown for a good one week between Christmas and New Year and normally we take a trip to India meeting family. This year we decided to do the trip early and chill at home over the winter break. And this has been one of the best decisions in past several months !

I decided to completely unplug from work ( have had a hectic past 3 months and needed a clean r n r to rejuvenate). So I set-up an OOO and moved onto setting up a personal to-do list. I manged to complete over two thirds of the to-dos all the while taking time out to get back to reading and tv. No, no this wasn't the mindless TV watching at the end of a routine day - this was deliberate, considered choices of movies and books.

I read 'Still Alice' by Lisa Genova. I have not watched the movie and the book thus maintained an unfamiliarity that was enough to sustain my interest. The story gives a rare first-hand look into being a patient of mental illness. The story is so detailed into the science and so true to what the person going through the situation is feeling like it almost makes me wonder if the author is in Alice's head. It feels like this can't be fiction.  Loved the book and all the characters - Alice,
her husband and of course her actress daughter. I have decided not to spoil it for me by watching the movie. Not yet, anyway.

Hell or high water - Having just taken a road trip across the entire West Texas area, watching this movie was looking at people I recently got acquainted with. It was tremendous acting all of by the lead characters, especially Ben Foster. This neo-wild wild west story is true to to the spirit of all those heart-wrenching westerns that appealed to the male and female emotions of audiences. Highly recommend this film to serious audiences. These are the kinds of movies we need to see more - ones that deal with real people. I am sick of the science fictions and action thrillers. Bring on the story people !

I didn't want to watch Fuller House S2 until after Thanksgiving, so did that during Christmas time. The first seasons was a bit cheesy, but I loved this second season. While I did enjoy the nostalgia and throwback scenes, I  thinks what will make the series stand on its own again , and not just as a re-union one-off, is to carry on those themes of developing honest kids and what goes into it. In this time of social media and narcissistic crazines our kids can really use that. Even adults can.

Lastly, I tried Game of Thrones. I guess I am late to the game, but gotta admit I am happy being late. It did not look like I've missed out on a lot. I really don't understand why people are so ga-ga for GoT. Yes, there are some really good characters, but I've seen better. And the excess violence is too much of a bargain for a select scenes. The story itself is soooo slow! I frankly feel that shows like The Tudors, The Whtie Queen have done so much better in carrying on plots and plots of royal carnage and politics. And they did not need a dragon to make it that interesting. I watched until mid Season 3 and I'm never going back.  I'd rather read the books.

That is the resolution, for 2017, read more books - more than 2016 at least. 

Movie Review - Under the Tuscan Sun

I started watching the movie with the presumption that I would hate it as a 30+ year old who is much more of a feminist that my won 25 year self. It’s just that the idea – a divorced woman finding herself in a new country – is so beaten to death over several movie (remember Eat, Pray, Love and so many more such ones). But I finished that movie experiencing that feel-good emotion, sorta like you feel at the end of a great day.

I loved the screenplay’s treatment of the original story. Even though it starts with a dejected woman taking a trip to Europe to catch a break, it explores depths of her that you don’t expect. The film shows that fulfillment is not always realized through one’s own accomplishments rather it is sometimes obtained by helping others accomplish their desires.

I also loved how the director shows the movie not from a touristy perspective of Tuscany and Italy, rather from someone trying to live there. There is not more than couple scenes with the popular spots such as colosseums or cathedrals. The majority of the movie sticks around Tuscany countryside. It is also different in its perspective since it doesn’t limit the viewpoints to the many wineries of the countryside. It goes beyond that.

Diane Lane is such a great actress. She can make you fall in love with the most plain, silent and shy characters. I wish she starts acting in more films in the coming years; can’t remember the last time I saw her in a contemporary film. 

Book Review :: The girl on the train

Suburbia is a favorite setting of authors and screenplay writers. I think of it as the perfect setting to explore what a person is truly made up of. When thrown from the carefree life of a working single man or woman into a responsible mortgage paying adult with a family to take care of, what does one really chose to become? It's easy for us to make bad or good choices when the life that we are part of makes progress day by day, there is a hope that things will get better - personally, professionally, even morally. But what choices do we make when life seems stagnate or seems like you've accomplished all that you thought of or even worser there is no hope of anything getting better at all?  It could get boring at times. It could make a person without a busy life go totally bonkers, annoyed, and even depressed. American beauty - a superb example of life in the suburbia. How seemingly perfect families you see through windows are not so perfect.

In The girl on the train, Paula Hawkins explores this concept. You see characters that appear to be ordinary turn out to be the most interesting ones you've met in a while. The entire set of characters, 5 main ones in total, are well developed through the book and reveal surprising things about them up until the end. Sometimes their behavior doesn't even make sense. You see them compare and contrast their past life to the one they are currently in. And none of the 5 seem to like it. So in that manner the character study is twice as much compared to books with one or two focal characters.  But this creates a depth vs. breadth struggle for the author. So eventually you see known patterns develop that make the book a little less interesting than contemporary mystery thrillers with fewer characters. But on the whole, Ms. Hawkins utilizes the plenitude of the characters to her advantage thereby having the reader take several guesses as to who the bad guy is.

The book does a great job of depicting a person's downfall, through Rachel for the most part. You cannot help but pity her and hate her both at the same time. It does the same with another character but I'll leave it to you to find out who. No one loves spoilers, right?

Called the next Gone Girl, rightly so for the similarities of setting (suburbia, missing woman, mind games) and the narrative style the book is a less thrilling and less mysterious version of Gone Girl. If you have read you fair share of mystery novels or watched enough romantic thrillers you will correctly guess what's happening about half way down the book. That kills the suspense a bit. Unlike Gone Girl this one doesn't have too many twists, so less of a page turner. Nevertheless a page turner.

I'll give this 4 out of 5 stars because of the character development. The reason it was a page turner for me was I kept wanting to see what this person does next or what they did in the past that was going to be disclosed on the next page. And with each fact that is exposed, each new situation explained you continue to make surprising discoveries about the characters. We all exhibit a little voyeurism, just like Rachel, and that makes the book interesting for the reader. Only in Rachel's case she took it to a whole another level.

Begin again....

I don't believe it! 6 years have passed since my last blog entry. Did life really get that busy? Let's see ... a double masters', a move, a house, a kid and 7 years of marriage....well yeah, I have been busy! But every now and then I had this itch, a nudge, a sudden remembrance of a missed (hobby?) habit. Writing on my blog. So here I am, trying to begin again.

Say anything

Disclaimer (July 2016) - When I read this post now, I sound judgey...not my proudest post on the blog. I guess I've grown a bit more mature and tolerant now. Everyone has their story....let's not judge them...but it applies both ways.

Have there been times in your life when someone was extremely rude to you and you were just too dumb-sruck to retaliate their rudeness? I've got plenty of such incidents in my own biograophy.

A few days back I went volunteering at a place in town. This is a huge non-profit and hence has a lot of volunteers working for them part-time. As it happened an elderly lady (app. 55 - 60 yrs) and I ended up doing some stuff together in the office. I tried to start a conversation with her. As the conversation progressed, I realized she was a unhappy kinda person. May be life was not exactly fair to her, but I felt it wasn't unfair to her either. Anyways, I told her why I normally volunteer and where my husband is employed(in an American-Indian IT services company) etc. After a few minutes she said that one of her friends was worried about losing her job because her work was being outsourced to, you guessed it right, India. And she said, "I hope it's not the company your spouse works for". For a few seconds I was stupefied! I was too shocked for her way of expressing dislike for "Indian companies stealing their jobs": saying it in the face of a stranger from India who was happy to volunteer her time, for free,at an American non-profit. I didn't think it was fair of her to be so direct, especially with a person she met just an hour ago. But I din't utter a word back to her. Later, I was so angry with myself for not coming up with a good response.

And then as time passed by she asked me strange questions about Indian culture: how she thought people in India force their kids for arranged marriages, how she thought we can't speak English and how people normally live with their parents. Here I took matters into my hand and explained the reality in India: how parents now-a-days trust their children to make their own decisions life partner or otherwise, how 80% Indians have their entire education from English medium schools, how we in India respect family and stick together till death.

It was also shocking to see her recalculating the money she "loaned" to her sons! You know your life is a reflection of your actions, if you are calculative in lending money to your kids they expect you to live in a nursing home later in life. I'm not saying that people here are all like this. I've mets of tons of people here who take care of their parents in a better way than I've ever seen in India.

Relationships work only when love and respect are requited. And that's why the Indian family system works in my opinion. At the end of the day I just felt sorry for the dear old ladie, for it's her attitude, and not her pay at job or not her retirement benefits, that needs to change in order for her to be happy and peaceful in life. And I'm glad I am in a position to make this discretion.

movie marathon

So with the spirit of Academy awards last Feb, my hubby and I decided to embark on a marathon of watching academy award winning movies. Why this? First of all, for fun :).Second, I am curious to see the transformation of movies over the past few decaded. Third, I wanna understand the reasoning behind the academy of motion picture's picking a movie as the best-movie of the year? What makes a movie a best movie - is it story, is it the actors, is it the social message it carries, is it the relevance of the movie to its times?

So as I embark on this, I will duely report my reviews here. So keep watching people!

Romance for any season -Dirty dancing

I watched Dirty Dancing today. For the second time (yeah yeah, just the second time...). And I loved it all over again. Just a few days back I put 'Before Sunrise' at the top of my most-romantic movies list. But now I think it's a tie between Dirty Dancing and Before Sunrise.
DD has all the key ingredients necessary to make a romantic movie: music, sensual dancing, beautiful protagonists and an almost fairy tale like story. May be it was DD that created a benchmark in the first place. Patrick Swayze (may he RIP) is an amazing dancer, he is a trained of course. And the chemistry he has with Jennifer Grey is simply so real!It's hard to believe that they were both actually "not-so-fond" of each other when filming DD. But I love the way this off-screen animosity transltes into on-screen passion.
DD is a typical rich girl meets a poor boy story. At least it looks like that on the top. But underneath it's more than that. It's a story of the experiencing the pains of growing up and facing the truth about the real world. Jennifer Grey suits the role. I can't imagine any other 80's actress but Grey in Baby's role.
As for the dance numbers, I love all of 'em; starting with what has been described 'one of the most goose-bumpy movie dance sequences ever' , the climactic dance to 'The time of my life', to the parody of 'Love is Strange'.
Although it's referred to as 'the most watched movie by women ever' and 'the Star Wars for women' I think DD is worth a watch of any guy too :)

Pic courtsey:Wikipedia.org